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The Unconditional Love Version:

Updated: Feb 8, 2021

I have spent the past two weeks alone…without my children. This is only the second time in my entire experience as a mother that my children have been away from me for so long. It is an interesting existence. I go to the grocery store and shop as if I am shopping for people who are there. Truth is, I really don’t eat a lot, but love to cook, which creates an interesting conundrum….I have lots of food prepared, but my man and I can never eat it all. This week, I have had garlic parmesan zucchini chips for breakfast, chips and salsa for dinner and watermelon for dessert. Ah, the joys of not having to role model…lol.

The universe has a way of providing me with a glimpse into what life will look like long-term before my requests are actually put into place. It is almost like I get to see what I signed up for before I sign the dotted line. For example, the summer my sun turned 7, he expressed a desire to play football. I had just gotten a contract that required I come into the organization’s offices three days a week. It was the first time I worked outside of my home since my divorce. The amount of coordination and effort those three days took, coupled with summer camp drop off and football practice until 8 p.m. wore me out. We were leaving the house at 7 am and returning close to 9 p.m. My children were eating Subway sandwiches in the back seat of my SUV and I continuously wished/prayed/cried things could be easier…like we could get home at a decent hour, we could sit down to dinner together, we could not change our clothes in the car.

One day, as I was standing on the train platform, commuting to work, I closed my eyes and silently said “God, please show me how all this can get done.” When I got to the offices of the company I was contracting with, my supervisor told me that that day was my last day. My response was “Thank you, God!” I explained to her how I had just prayed less than an hour before for an answer and received it. I was clear and confident that I would be alright, God had me. My children and I were fine.

Last week I went to lunch with a very dear friend. I love him beyond measure. I was feeling very peaceful and chose a fuchsia pink dress and a rose quartz necklace. Rose quartz radiates love, compassion, peace and happiness. It was the perfect stone for a wonderful afternoon and lunch at #thepublichouse.

Back to my growing Afrikans being away this summer…I have cleaned out each of their rooms, updated my website, made all those calls I kept putting off, organized the linen closet, cleaned out the tool containers, wiped down all baseboards and am thinking about some DIY projects I would like to get started on this weekend. I receive this short glimpse into life as an empty-nester as an opportunity to prepare myself spiritually, mentally and financially. Next year, my sun will be in college. While I look forward to him moving forward with his life, I am excited about starting the next chapter of mine, also.

*posted 7/1/2016


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