Updated: Jan 8, 2021
1. Time is an illusion. I wondered many days and weeks where the hours and minutes had gone. I’d wake up at 5a, then it was 7, then 9:30, then it seemed to jump to noon and I was still on 7am tasks...and like WTF..where is the time going???? By the time I cooked and ate it may be three and then 5 and then it jumped to 8 or 9, almost time to start it all over again. This experience is even more intense if I am zooming throughout the day.
Many times I felt very unproductive and sometimes even frustrated. Many weeks went by and I hadn’t accomplished anything it felt like. And then today, while cleaning my office, I came across lists of daily tasks I had written from March until a couple of weeks ago. In reflection, I got a hell of a lot done and a bunch more is planned. I am grateful for the illusion of time.
2. The special brotha in my life remarks that I move fast...even during this experience. When he teases me, I think it is funny because everything seems to take longer and move slower from picking up a few groceries to getting a package than it did before the weekend the world shut down. It is all taking a long time…and this requires that we exercise patience and grace to each other and ourselves. I also find his comment humorous because we met during this experience, so he has no earthly idea how fast I moved before! I am thankful that my life has slowed down yet still moves forward.
3. Time and space allow us to reflect and heal and to see what needs to be healed. There has been a lot of growth and pain and tears and unlearning and releasing and compassion in our home this year. We have spent more concentrated time together in the last 9 months than we have in the last 9 years. Sometimes it has felt like a crash course and honestly, sometimes we crashed into each other, on our beds and hell, I may have ended up in a fetal position on the floor a few times. I am prayerful that this time and space allows my grown’ish Afrikans and I the opportunity to extend our growth outward to those we love as well. We have learned a lot about ourselves and each other.
4. Tomorrow it will be a different year, a new year, a new opportunity to grow and expand. I am clear that one day after today will not be a magic bullet to make COVID disappear. We still have to do the work that we are beckoned to do...and it will be way more than wearing a mask and social distancing...in order to move through this. I am sure that one day the longest year ever, 2020, will be a bittersweet memory.
Be well. Be intentional. Be love. Be grateful. Happy tomorrow!!! LOVE!!!