Ruminations that Lead to Illumination (reflections on endings and new beginnings):

My intention was to post this reflection before the end of last year, but the way my life is set up right now, I am grateful to have the opportunity to sit down and the space to share these words with you in this moment. My life has been beyond BUSY!!! And every time I think a break is coming, something else comes up. There are transitions that have impacted me – moving and my grown’ish Afrikans figuring out life more and less with me and getting to know new people and leaning deeper into me which has sometimes meant releasing others that I have held on to for too long…lots happened to and for me in 2024.

And 2025 promises to be bright and exciting and fulfilling. Every year, I focus on a word that I will embrace and this year “fulfilling” feels like the word that encapsulates the sentiments that I want to experience. I desire fulfillment in all that I do and all that I am. Just writing that caused me to exhale deeply and that in and of itself, was fulfilling. So here goes what I penned to share with you somewhere around mid-December, 2024.

At the end of the semester, or, at the end of anything, people start to scramble to stay afloat. Think of a marriage or in some cases, life. Oftentimes, it is a survival technique. For your consideration, endings are also opportunities to expand beyond what you could have ever imagined is possible. Surrendering as opposed to scrambling is liberating. Fighting against the inevitable is draining and trust me when I tell you that the action of letting go will allow you to fly high.

I have taught an undergraduate course in health informatics for about a decade. The course focuses on policy and the underlying goal is not only to teach students majoring in public health about informatics in the public health space, but also to offer them practical guidance on how to be advocates for themselves and their family members in the health space.

I believe prevention is more effective than intervention. Prevention is one of the keys to good health. I also encourage students enrolled in my course to do the same. Prevention in my course means that a student is in touch with me when they have an event that impacts their performance. In the aftermath of COVID-19, this can be as simple as an email that lets me know they will miss a scheduled asynchronous class session because they don’t feel well, they have a previous commitment, their child is ill, etc. I understand the ebb and flow of life.

If I am nothing else on this sojourn, I am real. One of my life’s mantras has been “there is no future in fronting.” Even though at this point in my life, I have lived in the south for most of my life, I am a NYer at heart. That is the essence and origin of my realness. Almost thirty years later, folks are still getting used to it (and me). Brooklyn is where my formative years were spent; that energy courses through my soul.

So, at the beginning of the semester, I  share with my students my approach to learning (it is mutual – I learn from them and they learn from me), attendance (if I gotta show up on Zoom once a week for 2 and a half hours, so do you), exams and assignments (I don’t give makeups unless there is a documented and valid reason) and your grade is based on what you earned (so don’t come to come at the end of the semester looking for salvation in the form of extra credit because you didn’t do what you were supposed to during the semester to earn a different grade). There are no shorts nor any favors.

Despite this, every semester – and I mean eh-vah-ree one, there is that ONE student who is looking for a break at the last minute. This semester it was a student who missed a quiz and an assignment. She asked to meet with me and when we went into a virtual room, I heard a baby crying. She immediately went off camera and muted her audio. I told her to take her time because she needed time and I had time. Her baby needed her.

She came back and when I simply asked her how she was doing, her voice cracked, then she started tearing and then crying and then the baby started crying again and then I started breathing because I have been there – and I was married and had support and I didn’t want to cry. Being a new mom is A LOT no matter where you are in life…it is more than any woman ever realizes and you would be lying if you are a woman and have children and believe otherwise. So, in order to calm her (and myself) down, I told her to hold the baby and I took her through some breathing exercises.

She and her newborn eventually stopped crying. She shared that she was depressed and overwhelmed and all the things you are when you are in college and taking care of a newborn and doing it by yourself.  My nervous system (and hers) eventually normalized. I asked her if she had food, if the baby had food, I asked her if she was safe, if her baby felt its mama’s love, I asked her if she had a warm bed to sleep in and if she had diapers and as she responded yes to the last question, I reminded her that things could be a lot worse. I encouraged her to reach out to me for anything. I have also checked on her because black women don’t reach out and when we have to reach for them, it is often way too late.

I offered her an opportunity to make up the quiz and the assignment in ample time. Stress causes dis-ease and I do not like stress nor do I care to be a contributing factor to it in someone’s life. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve students. I am grateful to share what I have learned on this sojourn with eager minds. I am grateful for the opportunity to expand my mind in this subject area.

So, in this first week of 2025, I encourage you to remember that the end of anything is the beginning of everything. As long as we take a breath, we have the opportunity to start again. We do not have to wait until the "new year." Please also remember that you can end anything that does not fulfill your soul at any point, at any time in this year. This is the time of the year where the collective energy is strong – many are starting things during this time. Be intentional, move with and in love and find some joy each day. I am also aware that everyone I know will not make it through this year…a reminder for me to enjoy each day. 

Remember to take a break when you need it. Someone close to me commented that I needed a vacation. For me, traveling allows me to rest my mind from the business of daily life and to recalibrate as I explore another culture. If this resonates with you, please consider joining me and a small group of women on a wellness experience to Belize or Portugal sometime this year.

I wish you a peaceful journey through 2025. May you always be filled with love and fulfilled in all you envision and do.

LOVE!!! Vena

Photo: Savannah, GA (December, 2024)